Greetings again world!
It’s difficult writing blogs, I must confess. This could also be attributed to the fact, that words don’t really come very easily to me. Or maybe to the fact that my English is not that perfect, and I die inside every time I can’t find the “mot juste” like the French say. My advisor (she’s French) says that this is mostly a problem that Europeans suffer from.
It’s just this terrible feeling of not being able to word your feelings or your ideas into something other humans can grasp. Conversing has turned into something I shun away from, debating has become a nightmare- unless something someone says is entirely out of line according to my principles and beliefs, I don’t even get involved in debates anymore. I hate not having the ability to debate well because of the thinking process that focuses on finding the words and thus makes me sometimes lose track of my train of thought. It’s quite a deficiency, and I hate my deficiencies! Guess my ego is a bit big… but then again according to Neil DeGrasse Tyson* that’s not true 😉
I know this is maybe too much of a talk on a personal, individual struggle and I don’t usually like to spend time on my personal issues; however! I learned this year, that myself counts too. That I need to care of myself as well… and running off, trying to only focus on worldly issues and/or issues of others is a bit cowardly. Indeed, personal struggle is useful because frequent self-reflection will be even more helpful to those worldly problems that trouble my heart and mind. I believe self-reflection makes one a better person. And I need to become a better person in order to change all the wrong my heart and eyes have seen and will see. I need to become a better person, a more knowledgeable person. The most knowledgeable I can!! The more knowledge I gain, the more different views I’m confronted with, the better I’ll become. I say this with quite some confidence, because it has proved to be right so far, and I can’t find any counter-example really 🙂 so being the ‘scientist’ that I claim to be, I’d say this is a scientific theory! It works! like Walter Lewin would say.
Tonight, as I’m waiting for my return home in less than two days, I’m trying out blogging and uselessly trying to put some stuff on paper regarding my summer plans… there’s a whole lot of idleness that has taken me over though 😦
I guess I’ll finish with that, and a hope of regaining my productivity. 🙂
Peace! Salaam! Shalom! Pace! Paqe!
Much love to the whole world! May God protect each and every one of the humans of this world 🙂
* – reference to the Big Think video on the Cosmic Perspective and the Ego by DeGrasse Tyson.